Watching the Health Care debate. The main attraction: Rep. Sessions is yelling “I object” “I object” “I object” unremittingly, like a nerdy Tourrettes patient, while everyone tries to make their little statements.
Nothing comes to mind more than two kids in a backseat of a car playing the “I’m not touching you” patience-testing game. Except multiplied by a few hundred and played by adults on C-SPAN.
I’m frankly amazed that no one has been slapped yet.
This ad showed up at the top of my gmail this morning.
“Find Iran Girls at Great Prices.”
I hadn’t been writing or reading any emails about Iran or girls, but I was curious. I clicked to see if it was a weird auto-advertising error or sleaze for cheap bastards. While loading:
Seems like auto-advertising word fail. I waited.
I guess the results are kind of a mix of both. Auto-advertising picking up a random weird word combination, but then sponsored links that are intentionally advertising Iranian women (or any 18+ women, etc etc).
Summary: all-round fail. You end up with sales on Ralph Lauren Childrenswear next to sexy webcam link advertising. Everyone leaves feeling a bit dirty and depressed, no matter what they were originally looking for (except pedophiles, I guess, and I would imagine they feel dirty and depressed all the time, though I’m not up on my DSM-4).
So, I just got this newsletter and it had been bought out by Everlon Diamonds, running a campaign for some new diamond jewelry with the tagline “the strength of love forged in a knot”.
Does it look suspiciously noose-like to you?
It didn’t help that I already fielded an email about blood diamonds this morning, nor that I always have this brilliant Atlantic article in mind when I look at diamond ads now, but, regardless, I’m pretty sure this piece of jewelry is dreadful. It’s as if you unironically designed a wedding ring that looked like a ball and chain or something.
I wonder about the psyche of the person who developed this ad:
When I saw James Fallows’s post about this pen I thought it looked pretty cool for reporters. But the above ad I just caught on Facebook made me realize HOW PERFECT it would be for when you’re fighting with your loved ones (or coworkers, I guess). Imagine! Mid-fight, you can reference the last one! And when your opponent says you’re making things up, you have PROOF!
Because I am sane, I still didn’t vote for “happier love life”. Winning fights is awesome but you’d probably end up stabbed to death with your own pen, and people would be writing snarky obits for you before you’d finished bleeding out.
Still . . .
Tempting . . .
Kinda crazy / ridiculous that they can’t get rid of this guy with a gun. I’m sure they will eventually.
I do confess to being mildly amused by the newscaster’s rather awkward phrasing “there are concerns about every president’s safety, but certainly this historic president, the 44th president of the united states” — because the number 44 is what makes his presidency historic, clearly. Erm.
I guess maybe they get in trouble from the NRA if they imply gun-toting nutjobs are often racist gun-toting nutjobs?
I didn’t think this needed to be explained, but apparently it is not a nationally accepted practice: Sometimes it is necessary to get drunk alone at home and watch the Disney Channel. There is no shame in this.
Sheesh.
I work in a classy place, with people that I would, for the most part, classify as “classy” as well.
HOWEVER.
I feel dirty just talking about it, but I’ve been stewing about this for over a month now: SOME DEGENERATE KEEPS WIPING THEIR NOSE PICKINGS ON THE STALL WALLS IN THE BATHROOM. IN MULTIPLE PLACES.
Seriously. Where are you? In a bathroom stall. What’s one of the main features in a bathroom stall? Toilet paper. WHY, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, CAN’T YOU USE IT? Will you miss your little nose treasures if you can’t revisit them throughout the day? Are you so proud of them that you want to hang them on the wall and share them with your coworkers?
I hate you.
Nothing really more to say here. The moral of the story is this: do not be a disgusting idiot. The end.
My computer died and my heart broke and the only things keeping me going are the crows outside my office window, sidling about in corvine beauty.
Crow
Corvine is a word, my “word of the day” email told me so. It means crow-like, or pertaining to crows. Stupid word-checker is underlining it now, though.
I watch the crows more than any “working” person should, and feed them pieces of bagel from the common room. The crows stack the pieces of bagel into their beaks, getting four or five pieces carefully loaded in before they’ll dash away from me sideways in panic that I might leap through the glass and eat them. They do not seem as fond of muffins or fruit. More importantly, they have AMAZING licorice-like black tongues (except for this baby one that has started showing up, which has a pink tongue and shows it a lot because it is always yelling for some reason).
One of them pooped on the wall earlier, but I have forgiven it. It was funny to watch, just like those mechanical Easter hens that pop out eggs when you push them down a little bit… perhaps you had to be there.
trio of not
1.
So many lovely
maternity dresses hang
wasted in her house
2.
Dying word, ‘Eclogue’ –
poem where shepherds converse –
awaits new Dark Age.
3.
Once-proud unicorn,
On which reality show
shall I blame your fall?
